Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
