Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids