Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most