K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real