weddingsv make me drug and hornr
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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