New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
