I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
