Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
