I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
