i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
