the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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