Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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