the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
