Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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