Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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