he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
