your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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