i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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