someone threw a dead crab at me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
