I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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