Pants 0. Shit 1.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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