So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
