I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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