He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
