so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
