that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
