Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
