His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
