I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize