just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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