i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
