Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
