i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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