I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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