I faked an abortion last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
