he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
