listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
