WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
