Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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