Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
