He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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