I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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