i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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