Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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