Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
