I skipped work to stalk him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
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Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
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downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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