I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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