'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
