This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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