Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
