when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
