He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Never joke about your clitoris.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
