We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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