It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
