He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
