Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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