Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
