why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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