found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i love accidental penises.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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