I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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