I wish I could teleport
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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