I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize