can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
