For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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