you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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