definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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