32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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