so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
