What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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